We all know about Stephen Colbert’s phobia of bears as “Godless killing machines,” and rightfully so. Bears are enormous, have large teeth and claws, except for that Pooh one. Bears were created to kill, there is no doubt about it. But one animal has been living under the veil of a furry tail right before your very eyes. They frolic in your bushes . . . they play in your trees, with your children . . . and little do you know, they are just plotting the perfect time to strike. That’s right, squirrels, nature’s disguised shoebomb just waiting to nibble off a limb. They even run in gangs, here is some proof:
From BBC News:
Russian squirrel pack ‘kills dog’
 Local people suggest hunger is driving squirrels to extremes |
Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report. Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.
They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.
A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.
The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.
A “big” stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.
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“They literally gutted the dog,” local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.
“When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them.”
Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.
While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds’ nests, he said, the idea of them chewing a dog to death was “absurd”.
“If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests,” he added.
Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.
A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been “no pine cones at all” in the local forests this year.
“The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat,” he added.
From Fox News:
Squirrel Attacks 3 in German Town, Finished off by Victim
BERLIN — An unusually aggressive squirrel attacked three people in a German town before its last victim finished it off with a crutch, police said Wednesday.
The rodent jumped through a living-room window in Passau, on the Austrian border, on Tuesday and bit its first victim. With the squirrel hanging on by its teeth, the woman ran out into the street, where she managed to shake the animal off.
The squirrel then bit a builder before fleeing into a nearby garden, where it bit a 72-year-old man who eventually killed it with his crutch, police said.
The dead animal was to be tested for rabies.
The Squirrels Even Hate Children!
FROM NBC:
Squirrels Go On Attack At South Bay Park
“MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — An aggressive squirrel pounced on a 4-year-old boy in an attack last week in Cuesta Park in Mountain View, Calif.
The attack happened as the boy’s mother unwrapped a muffin during a picnic.
SLIDESHOW: Squirrel Attacks Child
The boy had to get rabies shot after the attack. He is still getting the shots.
The attack is not the first one reported at the park. Mountain View Community Services Director David Muela said that as many as six people have been bitten or scratched by squirrels since May, and that the attacks have become more ferocious in the last month.”
Squirrels are also linked to the PLAGUE:
From Harvard’s Medical School:
In the United States, plague usually is transmitted in one of four ways:
- Contact with infected wild rodents, especially ground squirrels, rock squirrels, prairie dogs or chipmunks
- Contact with carnivores (especially pet cats) that eat these wild rodents
- The bite of a flea that lives on one of these animals
- Scratches or bites from infected pet cats
What can we do about the killing machines?
President Candidates Vow to Take Back the Trees in Election ‘08!
“ Patriots are you sick of governments run by skwerls for skwerls? Do you think it’s time to crack some nuts and take back the trees? Well, so do millions of others in this country and around the world.
The problem is, the bushytail horde has a stranglehold on the politcal process and their influence infects the highest levels of government, including the American presidency.
It’s not that all our presidents have been unabashed skwerlhuggers… “
For more information, see the post about squirrel fishing.
